Shyam Prasad (Neal): July 2013

Friday, July 26, 2013

Mere Garam Pani Se Kyo Nahaayi Kamini....

Wife Bathroom Se Naha Ke Nikli
To .
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Santa Use Ghoor Raha Tha!
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Wife Romantic Hokar : Kuch Karne Ka Iraada Hai Kya?
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Santa 2 Thappad Maar Ke Bola:
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Mere Garam Pani Se Kyo Nahaayi Kamini....

Prove that :- "PAPA=MAMA"

QUESTION
--------------
Prove that :- "PAPA=MAMA"
Answers:-
1) Art Student - 'OUT OF COURSE'
2)COMMERCE STUDENT- 'WRONG QUESTION'
3)MEDICAL STUDENT-'IT'S IMPOSSIBLE'
4)ENGINEERING STUDENT:- Hmmm......!
Its So simple
According to newtons second law-
F=MA ---- eq 1
And we know that,
Pressure(P)=Force(F)/Area(A)
therefore,
F=PA ----- eq 2
From equation 1 and 2,
PA=MA
On squaring both sides,
PAPA=MAMA ... Hence Proved.
"ENGINEERS ARE THE SPECIES WITH
SOLUTION OF ANY PROBLEM"...

Coz I Love U Yes I m Selfish....

Yes I m Selfish...
Thats Why I care for U,
Thats Why I scare to lose U,
Thats Why I miss U Every moment,
Thats Why I Cry for U in yourabsence,
Thats Why I pray to god for your Happiness,
Thats Why I always Wish That one day U wud be mine,
.
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Coz I Love U
Yes I m Selfish....

DEDICATED TO ALL BOYS (AbOuT giRlS)

DEDICATED TO ALL BOYS
Ladke Pagal Ho Jaatey Hain Pyar Me,
Baki Kasar Puri Ho Jaati Hai Intezaar
Me..
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.
Magar Ye Dard Ladkiya Nahi
Samjhti,
Wo Toh Panipuri Khati Firti Hain
Bazaar Me..
Aur LADKE Pade Rehte Hain BAR Me.....

Na Jane Kya Mujh Se ZAMANA Chahta Hai :'(

Na Jane Kya Mujh Se ZAMANA Chahta Hai,
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Mera Dil Tor K Mujhay Hansana Chahta Hai,
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Na Jane Kya Bat Jhalakti Hai Mera Chahre Se,
.
.
Har Shakhs Mujhe AZMANA Chahta Hai.....

Dosto Ko 1 Cute Si Bhabhi DeDe.... :p :D

Main Kuch Nahi Mangta Tujhse Apne Liye Ae Khuda
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.Bas Mere Pyaare Bhaiyon Aur Sweet Se Dosto Ko 1 Cute Si Bhabhi DeDe.......

Propose kar rahi hai ya adopt kar rahi hai.? (FuNnY GF-BF)

GIRL- My janu, My baby, Mera
Baccha, My sweetu, My golu..kya tum
mujhse
shadi
karoge?
Bol mela baby
.
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BOY- Arre kamini, Propose kar
rahi hai ya adopt kar rahi hai.?

Sharm aati hai. Shareef hun na isiliye..... :p

Log pata nhi ladkiyon ko kaise propose kr dete
hai yar..
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Muje toh pani puri khane ke baad papdii mangne me v Sharm aati hai.
Shareef hun na isiliye.....

Aadhi Icecream De..... (FuNnY GF-BF)

Girl Demanded for Ice Cream
.
.
Boy Purchased It,,
.
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Girl: Thank You
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Boy: Sirf Thank You,,
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Girl: You Want Kiss Na.??
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Boy: Arrey Romance Ki Bhookhi,
Aadhi Icecream
De.....

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Darr Hai Ki Zehar Chupke Se Usne Khaya Hoga….!♥! (BeSt)

Aaj Dulhan Ke Laal Jode Mein,
Use Uski Saheliyon Ne SajayaHoga…
Meri Jaan Ke Gore Haathon per
Sakhiyon Ne Mehndi Ko Lagaya Hoga…
Bahut Gehra Chadega Mehndi Ka Rang,
Us Mehndi Mein Usne Mera Naam Chupaya Hoga…
Reh Reh Ker Ro Padegi
Jab Jab Usko Khayal Mera Aaya Hoga…
Khud Ko Dekhgi Jab Aaine Mein,
To Aks Usko Mera Bhi Nazar Aaya Hoga…
Lag Rahi Hogi Balaa Si SunderWoh,
Aaj Dekh Ker Usko Chaand Bhi Sharmaya Hoga…
Aaj Meri Jaan Ne
Apne Maa Baap Ki Izzat Ko Bachaya Hoga…
Usne Beti Hone Ka
Doston Aaj Har Farz Nibhaya Hoga…
Majboor Hogi Woh Sabse Jyada,
Sochta Hoon Kis Tarah Usne Khud Ko Samjhaya Hoga…
Apne Haathon Se Usne
Hamare Prem Ke Khaton Ko Jalaya Hoga…
Khud Ko Majboot Bana Ker Usne
Apne Dil Se Meri Yaadon Ko Mitaya Hoga…
Bhooki Hogi Woh Jaanta HoonMein,
Kuch Na Us Pagli Ne Mere Bageir Khaya Hoga…
Kaise Sambhala Hoga Khudko
Jab Use Fairon Ke Liye Bulaya Hoga…
Kaampta Hoga Jism Uska,
Haule Se Pandit Ne Haath Uska Kissi Or Ko Pakdaya Hoga…
Mein To Majboor Hoon Pata Hai Use,
Aaj Khud Ko Bhi Bebas Sa Usne Paaya Hoga…
Ro Ro Ke Bura Haal Ho Jaayega Uska,
Jab Waqt Uski Vidayi Ka AayaHoga…
Bade Pyaar Se Meri Jaan Ko
Maa Baap Ne Doli Mein Bithaya Hoga…
Ro Padegi Aatma Bhi
Dil Bhi Cheekha or Chilaya Hoga…
Aaj Apne Maa Baap Ke Liye
Usne Gala Apni Khushiyon Ka Dabaya Hoga…
Reh Na Paayegi Juda Hoker Mujhse
Darr Hai Ki Zehar Chupke Se Usne Khaya Hoga…...

Aaj phir rone ko jee chahta hai....!♥!

Aaj phir kisi se milne ko jee
chahta hai,
Pass baith kr batt krne ko jee
chahta hai,
Itna haseen tha unka aanshu
pochne ka andaj....
ki Aaj phir rone ko jee chahta hai....

PYAR ki application..!♥!

PYAR ki application..
To,
The janeman ...
I love you jaan
Subject- Love is Life.
Dear Janu,
I beg to say that, I am a student of ur
heart. My Dil is very ill.
It is dhadking (Beating) many time ina
minute.
So, Kindly give me a kiss.
Thanks,
YOUR'S LOVER ,
Name :: Pyar Ka Mara.
Class :: Dil Hai Tumhara
Roll no. 143...!♥!

An Awesome Moment.... (LoVeR)

An Awesome Moment..
.
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when ur Lover is sleeping &
You are watching your Lover's
innocent face with Love....

Apne SINE se Laga K Mere Gum Dur Krdo.....

Apne SINE se Laga K Mere Gum Dur Krdo
TumSe JUDA Na Ho Pau Itna Mjbur Krdo
Meri Nas-Nas Me Bas Jaye Pyar Tera
Mai Kisi Aur Ko Na Dekhu Itna Magrur Krdo....

I Won the DANCE COMPETETION...!!! (FuNnY) :P

I Got so Drunk Last Night,
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I Walked Across the Dance Floor to Get Another
Drink, and I Won the DANCE COMPETETION...!!!

"TAJ MAHAL" as a symbol of LOVE..???

We know "TAJ MAHAL" as a
symbol of LOVE..
But history wants to say
something..
1:Mumtaz was Shahjahan's 4th
wife, out of his 7 wives!!!
2. Shahjahan killed Mumtaz's
husband to mary her!!!
3. Mumtaz died in her 14th
delivery!!!
4. He then married Mumtaz's
sister!!!
So guys
Where the Hell was Love???

Sunday, July 14, 2013

i love you baby..

Boy:"i love you baby..
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Girl:"tameez se baat kar..
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Boy:"om manglam bhagwan vishnu with
respct i beg to say that i love you devi
ji.."

Wo roye to muh mod ke roye.........

Wo roye to muh mod ke
roye.........
Wo roye to
muh mod ke roye...... Koi
majburi thi jo Dil tod ke
roye........ Hmare samne
hmari tasver faad
di............ Pr humare jaane
ke baad tukda jod ke
roye...

Cute LOVE Story… !♥!

Cute LOVE Story… !♥!
Boy : I really loved when
you cry badly !!
Girl (angrily) : Why is it
so,
means you enjoy??
Boy: No because thats
the only moment you
hug me as tightly as
you can…..
Girl: awwwwww…I
Love U. . . ..!♥!

Boy Doing Push Ups (LoL)

A Boy Doing Push Ups 'One Two Three'
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Suddenly A Girl Passes
Boy:"82 83 84"...

Every girl Wanted to Kiss Me. I allowed them.... :p

When I was a Cute Child, Every girl
Wanted to Kiss Me. I allowed them
.
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Now I want to kiss many cute
girls but
they don't allow.
..
Moral: Girls Are Selfish.....

Jhuko wahan jahan Kisi k Dil me tumhe jhukane ki Zid na ho ..!

I Don't Have Attitude Problem....
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But i strongly blv
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Jhuko wahan jahan Kisi k Dil me
tumhe jhukane ki Zid na ho ..!

If you can read this, you have a strong mind~

If you can read this, you have a strong mind~
.
.
7H15 M3554G3 53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5! 1N 7H3
B3G1NN1NG 17 WA5 H4RD BU7
..
N0W, 0N 7H15 7IM3 Y0UR M1ND
1S R34D1NG 17 4U70M471C4LLY
W17H0U7 3V3N 7H1NK1NG
4B0U7 17,B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N R3AD 7H15.
..
LIKE If You Got a Strong Mind

Smiling has always been easier than explaining y I'm sad...!...

Just because my eyes do not show tears,
doesn't mean my heart doesn't cry n i don't get hurt.
.
Just because I come out strong, doesn't mean
there is nothing wrong.
.
Often I choose to pretend that I'm happy, So I don't have to explain myself to people
who'll never understand.
.
Smiling has always been easier than
explaining y I'm sad...!...

The hardest Moment.... :(

The hardest moment
.
is not
when tears flow from
your eyes
.
It's
When you have to hide the
.
tears in your eyes with a
smile..!!!!!!!!

JANAZA mera uth raha tha....... :(

JANAZA mera uth raha tha...
,
fir be takliff thi unko aaneme,
.
Bewafa ghar me baithe puch rahe
the,
.
Or kitni der hai"Dafnane"me....

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

A Tribute 2 school life....

A Tribute 2 school life....
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. Ek muddat k baad milne wali thi qaid se aazadi
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Par kismat to dekho
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Aazadi mili to pinjre se pyar ho gaya tha
.
. M missing mah school days.nd wat abt u ol my lvly
frndzz...

SMILE, It really suits you....

SORRY I'm disturbing you
at this time,
.
but please can you do me a
favor???
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If you are not Buzy or not doing
anything important....
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Can you please....
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.SMILE,
It really suits you

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

DoSt KyA hAi...... :'( aWeSoMe......

Dost Wo Nahi Jo Aapke Liye Kamaye,.
.
Dost Wo Hai Jo Aapki T-Shirt Maang
Kar Le Jaye
Aur Kabhi Wapis
Na De….
.
Dost Wo Nahi Jo
Aapko Treat De,
.
Dost Wo Hai Jo
Aapke Ghar Aaye
Aur Kahe "Aaj Kya Paka Hai,.
.
Jo Bhi Hai Jaldi Se Le Aa"...
.
Dost Wo Nahi Jo Call Karke
Milne Aaye,
Dost Wo Jo Ghar Ke Samne Aake
MSG Kare "Kamine Bahar Aa..
..
Dost Wo Nahi Jo
Kahe Wo Ladki Teri Kismat Me Nahi.
.
Dost Wo Hai Jo
Kahe
"Saale Party De Party
Use To Ghar Se Utha Layenge Tere
Liye".
.
Dost Wo Nahi Jo
Janaze Me Aaye,.
.
Dost Wo Hai Jo
Kabar Pe T-Shirt
Le Ke Aaye Aur Kahe
"Le Saale Nahi Chahiye Tera Ehsaan
Chal
Uth Aur Meri
Dosti Wapis Kar.. :)

Today's generation.....

Today's generation..
Baap:" Beta maine tere liye ek ladki
dekhi hai, Vo Roopvati,
Gunvati, aur
Sarasvati hai..
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Beta:" Lekin papa mein kisi orse pyar karta hoon or vo...
Garbhvati hai....

Missing My Frndss.. ;(

Chahe Zindgi Kal Kisi Bhi Mod Pe Le aaye..
Lekin Ye Dost Hmesha Yad Aayenge..
.
.
Chahe kal Kuch Bhi Ho Jaye..
Vo Pal Hmesha Rulayenge...
Vo Yaaro Ka Milna..
Vo Mil K Jhagadna..
Vo Sath Me Khana..
Vo Race Lagana...
Vo Seetiyan Marna..
Fir Jaldi Se Bhagna..
Vo Clothes Ki Sharing..
Vo Porn K Liye Bluetooth Ki pairing ..
Vo Raat Bhr Bhatakna..
Vo Ek Bike Pe 4 Ka Latakna...
Vo Goldflake K Sutte..
Vo Sike Hue Bhutte..
Vo Techrs Ki Lena..
Vo Kmino Ki Sena.._/\_
Shayad Hm Vo Din Fir Kbhi Nhi Jee
Payenge..
Vo Pal Hme Bhut Rulayenge..
Missing My Frndss.. ;(

Girl's & Boy's ProBlEm...

Girls Problem : They Love the Ones that hurt them..
.
.
Boys Problem - They hurt The Ones They Love..

Pyaar Ho GaYa Hai MuJhE....

Meri Neend ud gai hai aajkal....
Lagta hai Kisi ladki ke Pyaar Ho GaYa Hai MuJhE....

My sweetest memory....

My sweetest memory - UR msg!
.
My biggest sadness - The
distance!
.
My biggest hope - I will see You
soon!
.
My strongest prayer -Our
Relation
continues forever!

Monday, July 8, 2013

A Funny Case Of Kiss And A Slap - must read it..!

A Funny Case Of Kiss And A Slap -
must read it..!
.
A Manager, His Assistant, An Old Woman
And Her Young Daughter Are Traveling In
A Train
.
And During The Course Of Time Get
Themselves Introduced To Each Other
And Become Temporary Friends... .
.
The Train Goes Through A Tunnel
And It Gets Completely Dark...
.
Suddenly There Is A Kissing Sound
And Then A Slap !!!
.
The Train Comes Out Of The Tunnel...
.
The Women And The Assistant Are
Sitting
.
There Looking Perplexed...
.
The Manager Is Bending Over Holding His
Face, Which Is Red From An Apparent Slap.
.
All Of Them Remain Diplomatic And Nobody
Says Anything... .!
.
The Old Woman Is Thinking :
.
These Managers Are All Crazy After Girls.
He Must Have Kissed My Daughter In The
Tunnel.
.
Very Proper That She Slapped Him...
.
The Young Girl Is Thinking :
The Manager Must Have Tried To Kiss Me
But
.
Kissed My Mother Instead And Got
Slapped...
.
The Manager Is Thinking :
Damn It... My Assistant Must Have Kissed
The
.
Young Girl. She Might Have Thought
It Was Me And Slapped Me... .
.
Now Guess What The Assistant Is
Thinking...
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.
. .
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Now Hold Your Breath And Read What
The Assistant Is Thinking...
.
If This Train Goes Through Another
Tunnel, I Will Make Another Kissing Sound
And Slap My Manager Again...!
.
The Bastard Keeps Harassing Me In
The Office...!!

Height of teasing...

Height of teasing:
I was sitting near the window& singing...
"kabutar ja ja ja"
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..
..
..
then my mom asked me: " Kya hua beta?
SMS pack khatam ho gaya kya" ??

Dedicated to Ourselves.. V vr BORN in 90's...:):):)

Dedicated to Ourselves..
V vr BORN in 90's...:):):)
D last SANE generation!!!
V r d last generation dat learnt 2
play in street...
V r d 1st who played video games...
V r d 1st 2 c cartoons in color n
went 2 amusement parks...
V vr d last 2 record songs f radio on
cassettes...
V r d pioneers f walk mans n chat
rooms...
V r d 1st teenagers 2 eat pizza's n
burgers...
V r d pioneers who initiated d"SMS
LANGUAGE"...
Be proud of yourself that ur born in
90's....

Love stories end before it starts.....

A girl never express her liking for a boy Thinking boy should express first
.
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And
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A boy never express with a fear of losing her as a friend That’s why Love stories end before it starts...

They were cartoons to all but for me they were my teachers....

Scooby Doo:" Taught me to never be afraid of
screwing up
Tom and Jerry:" Taught me friendship..
Courage the cowardly dog:" Taught me to over
come my fears..
G. I. Joe:" Taught me team work..
Alladin:" Taught me nothing isimpossible
Mickey Mouse:" Taught me to be good person..
Chip n dale:" Taught me no matter how small
you can still rock on..
Richie rich:" Taught me to never feel proud..
Dexter:" Taught me that science was fun..
Johny bravo:" Taught me to flirt with girls, get
rejected and never mind
Shinchan:" Taught to enjoy my life
Mr. Bean:" taught me to make everyone laugh
They were cartoons to all but for me they were my teachers..

Friday, July 5, 2013

The difference between a wedding and a funeral......

NIKAAH & JANAAZA........
.
The difference between a wedding and a funeral ! (FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA)
Teri doli uthi,
Meri mayyat uthi,
Phool tujh par bhi barse,
Phool mujh par bhi barse,
FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA
Tu saj gayi,
Mujhe sajaya gaya.
Tu bhi ghar ko chali,
Main bi ghar ko chala,
FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA
Tu uth ke gayi,
Mujhe uthaya gaya.
Mehfil wahan bhi thi,
Log yahan bhi the,
FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA
Unka hasna wahan,
Inka rona yahan.
Qazi udhar bhi tha, Molvi idhar bhi tha,
Do bol tere pade, Do bol merepade,
Tera NIKKAH pada, Mera JANAAZA pada,
FARQ SIRF ITNA SA THA
Tujhe APNAYA gaya,
Mujhe DAFNAYA gaya..

Aashiqui 2 Song in New style..

Aashiqui 2 Song in New style..
.
Tu hi yeh mujhko bta de
facebook
chalau main ya naa.
.
.
Apne tu ghar ka pata de,
aaau main yaa naaa.
.
.
Apna tu phone number bta de,
Call lagau main yaa
naaaaaaaa. .
.
Khaana tu rakh de paka
ke,
khau main yaaa na.
.
Itna bata de mujhko
kab milne aau tujhko...
.
Ab hota nhi intizaaaar
tu hi ye mjhko bata de
koi dusri
patau main yaa naaaaaa...

Awesome lines After DeAth....

Awesome lines ...
.
Tha Main Neend Mein
Or Mujhe Itna Sajaya Ja RahaTha,
.
Bade Hi Pyar Se
Mujhe Nehlaya Ja Raha Tha,
.
Najane Tha Wo Konsa Ajab Khail
Mere Ghar Mein,
.
Bac'chon Ki Tahra'n
Mujhe Kandhe Pe Uthaya Ja Raha Tha,
.
Tha Paas Mere Mera Har Apna Us Waqt,
.
Phir Bhi Main Har Kisi K Mu Se Bulaya Ja Raha Tha,
.
Jo Kabhi Dekhte Bhi Na The, Muhabbat Ki Nigha Se,
.
Un K Dil Se Bhi Pyar Mujh Pe Lutaya Ja Raha Tha,
.
Maloom Nahi Heran Tha Har Koi, Mujhe Sota Hua Dekh Kar,
.
Zor Zor Se Ro Kar Mujhe Hansaya Ja Raha Tha,
.
Kaanp Utthi Meri Rooh,
Mera Wo Makaa'n Dekh Kar,
.
Pata Chala Mujhe DAFNAYA Ja Raha Tha,
.
Ro Pada Phir Main Bhi Apna Wo Manzar Dekh Kar
.
Jahan Mujhe Hamesha ke Liye sulaya ja raha ...

BEST PROPOSE BY STUDENT ...

BEST PROPOSE BY STUDENT ...
.
I AM BAD in ENGLISH
BUT i can tell you that I LOVE
YOU....
I am BAD in GEOGRAPHY
BUT
i can tell you that you LIVE in my
HEART...
I am BAD in HISTORY
BUT
I can REMEMBER when i FIRST
saw you.
I am BAD in CHEMISTRY
BUT
I can tell WHATS the REACTION
when you SMILE..
I am BAD in PHYSICS
BUT
I can tell the INTENSITY of
SPARK
of my EYES when they SEE you..
I am BAD in every SUBJECT
BUT
I can TELL ALL..
I will PASS all SUBJECTS if the
TOPIC is YOU
.
Ek Like to jarur banta hei bosS....

Ladki ka makeup utar jata hai......

Ek ladka apni girlfriend ko le k
ghumne jata hai
.
.
.
.
ar bahat tez barish ho jati hai
.
.
.
.
Socho bahat tez barish me kya hua hoga..
.
.
.
Socho...
. .
Socho...
.
.
.
Nahi pata... .
.
Ladki ka makeup utar jata hai..
.
.
ladka dar k bhag jata hai...
Hahahahahahahahaha......